Wonderful Lies
by AnimateObsessive
Summary: A year ago, Kakashi confessed his love to Sakura. However, little has changed since then in either their relationship or Sakura's enduring romance with Sasuke. They have maintained their bond as close friends and are happy where they are. But Sakura has been living in her own illusion of normality since the day he confessed his feelings. And this illusion must be shattered.


" _I love you. I've loved you for a long time."_

It was strange. The rebirth of Spring was upon them. The cherry blossoms fell happily, dancing on the cool breeze of a new season. The world was in flawless color. Every detail felt like a gift. The sweetness in the air was palpable, as if all who stepped within the shade of the trees had only just been born into this beautiful world.

" _I love you, Sakura."_

It was odd. The way the world got carried away in a rush of cherry blossoms. The wind seemed to sweep away all of one's worries, all of their regrets, from the year previous, leaving room for new, happier memories. If one were to merely stand there, gazing at the soft sky, they would swear it was moving steadily, waiting for them to follow it into the horizon.

" _I love you."_

The sweetness was on Sakura's tongue now. She could taste it, so pleasant and warm. Filled with the possibilities of yet another year. The beginning of the new year had passed long ago, but somehow this too was swept away by the breeze.

" _It's hard for me to tell you this. Please understand how hard it is, Sakura."_

The sweetness was the gum in her mouth, Sakura realized. It was not the sweetness of Spring on her tongue. But the flavor was familiar to her. She thought, after a moment of being lost in the pleasure of the gum, that it was perhaps an old favorite she had not tasted in a long while. Since she was twelve, she suspected. Why had she decided to revisit this little part of her youth, as if it had some importance in her adulthood? Because of….

" _Here, Sakura. It's your favorite, isn't it?"_

Kakashi. Of course. How could she forget? How could anyone, for any reason, forget…?

Sakura's gaze wandered from the ceiling of her bedroom to her window. It was open, she noticed, allowing the wonderful aromas of Spring to drift into her room. She should have been used to the smells by now, but time was useless in some matters. They always allowed her mind float out of the window and into the heart of the Spring. The bed she lay on was the cloud lying within that heart, soft and comforting underneath her. Clearing away the invasion of the Spring, Sakura got up from her bed and strode to the window to close it. As she reached it, a particularly harsh breeze sent a fresh cascade of Spring into her nose.

" _The world is so nice this time of year. Isn't it, Kakashi?"_

Her hands clutched the window, wanting to close it. But she was suddenly unable to move. Unable to resist the Spring yet again, as it flowed into her.

" _I ask you to accept my feelings."_

And what had been her reply? Sakura could not remember. She had certainly responded, most likely after a significant interval, to the request. She could recall her lips moving, forming words. She could remember said words falling so easily from her mouth. But Kakashi's face had not changed. It had retained that smile, that redness that had bloomed on his cheeks. She was speaking to a mask. And she could not remember what she had told that mask and how that mask felt when she spoke, if indeed it felt anything.

" _Sakura, can we discuss something trivial?"_

Sakura's lips trembled. Finally, with immense effort, she managed to close the window, shutting out the Spring. Its magic came out of her in a rush, leaving her surprisingly empty.

 _Trivial?_ she thought. _Trivial..? You stupid idiot! How can you…? What could make you say…?_

The Spring was outside. She was inside. But it didn't truly make any difference, when they were one in the same. This was _her_ Spring.

From the perspective of an observer, it occurred steadily. But in Sakura's heart, it all came in a rush. The world changed color so hastily that her mind and body reeled from the abrupt transition. Sasuke did not love her, had no interest in her, and seemed unlikely to alter his opinions of her. Then she was in her twenties and Sasuke had done all she had wanted him to do, all she had given up on him ever doing, since she was less than twelve years of age. Her life began spinning, rather then orbiting, around Sasuke, around her fantasies, around everything that brought her joy. But she kept herself anchored to the ground throughout it all. The years passed and she remained as she'd grown: A strong, confident, beautiful kunoichi. Two years did nothing to revert her growth. Three was merely a number, even as her heart leaped at the realization of it.

"Its been three years already?"

Kakashi glanced at the sky, as if it was the world's most accurate time piece. The sky never seemed to show the passing of the days, the weeks, or the months. But occasionally he imagined the clouds showed him events that seemed as likely as they were unlikely. Somehow, he had aged. Somehow, Sakura had aged. Somehow, it had been three years of Sasuke and Sakura living in romantic bliss.

"Three and a half, if we're being honest," Sakura replied cheerfully. "I usually try not to count, but lately I can't help myself."

She carefully shifted her share of the shopping bags to distribute their conflicting weight more easily. It felt to her like centuries since she had carried anything of importance. Whenever they went on an outing, Sasuke insisted on carrying everything, even if it was clearly a burden to do so. She complained, but very lightly, of this portion of his love. It was Sasuke-kun, after all. _Her_ Sasuke-kun.

"Three years, huh?" Kakashi uttered, chuckling. "You're lucky, Sakura. A love that has lasted this long will stay alive forever. I bet Sasuke will ask you to marry him soon enough."

Sakura blushed. She hadn't allowed herself to think of marriage and she hadn't been able to discuss the concept with Sasuke. However, she thought it inevitable. There were very few things that could alter the course of their love at this point. For the first time, she knew precisely where their relationship was going. She had earned herself the privilege of not having to speculate on how her and Sasuke's lives would turn out.

"Y-You think so?"

"Absolutely. What man wouldn't?"

Sakura reddened even further at the unexpected compliment. Kakashi had been complimenting her quite a lot these days, she noticed. She suspected it was due to him being single. In a way, she was the closest to a girlfriend he'd ever had: A girl who'd looked up to him, respected him, and remained his friend throughout the years even though his treatment of her was not flawless.

A small box, pushed from its resting place by the jostling of its comrades, slid over the edge of one of the shopping bags and fell to the ground.

"Oh!" Sakura uttered, startled. "Did I go overboard with my shopping again?"

She bent over to retrieve the fallen item, embarrassed. She did have a tendency to be reckless when it came to shopping, especially when she was excited. She'd been somewhat giddy lately and therefore perhaps not in the best frame of mind for purchases. But she'd wanted to go on this little outing. And when she had met Kakashi along the way and he'd decided to accompany her, it had seemed ridiculous not to go through with it. Smiling to herself, she straightened up and returned the box to its bag. She turned to Kakashi, who'd paused behind her, grinning sheepishly at her blunder.

But Kakashi was no longer smiling. His visage had gone oddly serious, even slightly angry, as he stared at the woman. All cheerfulness had left his expression. Even the hand that clutched two shopping bags seemed to have tightened its grip.

"Wha-what's wrong, Kakashi?" Sakura stammered, confused and a bit fearful.

Kakashi's hand trembled. His eyes met hers, swimming with emotions Sakura did not understand. Sadness and anger lurked deep within them, but not the type Sakura was used to from her years of interacting with him. This was a different type of anger, a different type of misery he had perhaps never shown prior. And still deeper in his eyes there was harshness and regret for that very same harshness.

"Why?" he uttered quietly, the tiniest quiver in his voice. "Why did you…?"

He couldn't continue. It was too painful. More painful than it should have been. Surely, it was idiotic for him to take this to such extremes within his mind, to have such thoughts. But it could not be helped. He turned away, unable to even look at her.

Sakura dropped her shopping bags. None of this made the slightest bit of sense. He had been so happy a moment previous, yet now it was as if all the color had been sucked from his world. And his world always appeared so full of color when he saw her, she realized. She gently touched his hand, her eyes filled with concern.

"What's wrong, Kakashi?" she queried. "Did I do something?"

Kakashi jerked his hand away as if he'd been burnt. But when he turned back to her, his gaze was not laden with resentment. It was instead a look of agonizing sadness.

"Why?" he repeated. "Why do you always…without thinking….? Could it be that you secretly hate me? Is this your sadistic way of torturing me?"

A merely perplexed Sakura was now utterly lost.

"Kakashi, if I did something, I'm sorry!" she uttered rather desperately. "Stop being weird!"

Kakashi smiled, but it was quickly extinguished. Such a _Sakura_ thing for her to say. Perhaps a bit of a Naruto thing as well, but mostly a Sakura thing. He did love whenever she uttered things that seemed so distinctly _her._ Even now it warmed his heart a little to hear those three words. But the warmth they provided was not even substantial.

"Why do you keep doing it?" he demanded, his voice tinged with unusual passion. "Why do you keep letting your guard down around me?"

Sakura was too astonished to defend herself against this accusation. It was the last thing she'd expected him to accuse her of. And with such a strange amount of energy for a man like him! She had never known Kakashi to be so invested in his own emotions. Fortunately, her silence did not hinder the conversation, as Kakashi continued on hastily.

"Bending over like that, touching my hand casually as if it's nothing," he went on. "Asking me to go shopping with you. Picking out sexy underwear and asking me if I think "Sasuke will like it". Standing so close to me when we walk together. Smiling at me whenever our eyes meet, asking me to have lunch with you alone. You keep letting your guard down, Sakura! Have you forgotten my confession that easily?"

At these last words, Sakura restrained a gasp. Against her will, her mind conjured up a certain memory. She returned, in mind only, to that Spring. That wonderful Spring of sweetness and dreams. She'd been with Sasuke for two years. Everything was perfect, everything in the world was an opportunity for a step forward rather than backward. She was content. Nothing could have surprised her. But then Kakashi entered her perfect Spring…

" _Do you mind if I tell you something trivial?"_

"Trivial"? How could he stand to say that word? How could anyone, especially a woman like her, stand to hear it? Those feelings were not trivial. They could never be trivial. Yet Kakashi thought them so. He thought them so trivial he spoke without any hesitation.

"I could never forget!" Sakura replied quickly, finally able to speak. "Just how bad do you think my memory is, Kakashi?"

The bitterness in Kakashi's face and voice wrenched her heart in a way she never wanted to experience again.

"You don't take my feelings seriously," he uttered dourly. "You don't think my love for you is worth any courtesy. Your guard was never up to begin with, was it? Because you don't understand how I feel. You might say you do, but you don't."

It was a melodramatic claim to make, more worthy of a distressed teenager, but Kakashi had stopped caring at this point. He carefully dropped his own shopping bags, placing them gently on the ground at either side. He strode forward, closer to the woman whom was at a loss for words. He'd known her a very long time and seen many of the most tragic scenes of her life firsthand. He'd come to think that she could never hurt him, never make him any more than he was as a person. But she had done both, simply by existing. Kakashi reached out and seized her shoulders, gazing deep into her eyes.

"Sakura, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for a long time, ever since I saw you blossom into the woman you were always meant to be. I told myself it was wrong, that I was a horrible person for thinking of you in such an impure way. But it started to hurt. The fact that I told you my feelings shows that there is some pain even the toughest of us cannot withstand."

Overwhelmed, Sakura did not speak. He seemed so...sincere...in his words. So unlike the man she'd always thought him to be as a child, so unlike any of the pictures in her head. It was, in its specific way, terrible. He was supposed to be her former sensei. A man who read dirty books, never paid for anyone elses's food even when he treated them, and stood as an unshakeable beacon of hope for his three students in times of battle. This was all wrong. These emotions, this new side of Kakashi. It was all _wrong_.

Kakashi's hands abruptly dropped from her shoulders, his arms fainting to his sides. His expression had turned indifferent. A sigh on his lips, he stepped back from Sakura. He reached down and picked up the two dropped shopping bags, his face not changing. He then did the same for the shopping bags Sakura had dropped, ignoring the added weight. As he expected, she did not object.

"I'm sorry," he told her quietly. "I shouldn't have touched you."

He began walking, paying no attention to whether or not Sakura was following him. Again, he did not want to look at her. He wanted to drop her off at her home, the home she shared with the man she actually loved, and never speak of this incident again. He wanted to, if possible, never look at her again. But he knew he could never promise himself such a thing. Sakura would always be the sunshine in his gloomy life. If he denied himself the sun, he would soon wither even more than he had already. It was a cruel irony he could barely accept. After a moment, Kakashi glanced over his shoulder. He saw she was was following a little ways behind him, her face laden with contradicting emotions.

 _So careless,_ he thought. _She's always so careless._

And sometimes, he had to admit, he loved her carelessness. Kakashi could never lie to himself and claim that he disliked any of the attention she gave him, regardless of how it battered his already bruised heart. Even a few moments ago, when she had touched his hand, he had felt that slight, wonderful leap, that invigorating feeling of being wanted and loved...before he pulled his own hand away.

 _Careless,_ Sakura thought sadly. _I'm always so careless…._

How seriously had Sakura ever taken Kakashi's confession? How seriously had she ever regarded the feelings he referred to as "trivial", the feelings he had not brought up for an entire year? The answer saddened her.

* * *

"Did something happen between you and Kakashi?"

Sakura stared into her bowl of ramen. She wasn't quite as hungry as she had assumed she was. The food, once infinitely appealing, now seemed a bitter error of her bad judgment. She thought perhaps she would leave it entirely, as rude as that would be. It was odd, seeing as she'd eaten very little earlier in the day, that she should at this moment have lost her appetite. But she realized she had been this way for several days, perhaps even weeks. Her appetite was being unusually volatile. However, she put all this aside as she was distracted by Naruto's question.

"Something? What kind of something?"

Naruto shrugged. Kakashi and Sakura's relationship had always seemed uneventful to him, but recently he'd noticed a change in both of them. Kakashi's overall cheerfulness had advanced in recent years. Naruto could not help but notice the increased amount of smiles, the laughter that appeared to come far easier than it ever had. His former sensei had been reborn in the strangest way and he had no idea how it had come about. Sakura herself seemed to be spending more time with Kakashi, as if they were extremely close. But that had all come to an end.

"Did you have a fight?" he asked. "I'm only asking because Kakashi seems all mopey all of the sudden. I asked everyone else and they're as clueless as I am. Do you have any idea what happened?"

The scent rising from Sakura's bowl of ramen was suddenly making her ill. She pushed the bowl away. Her stomach was heaving threateningly and her face had gone pale. She felt trickles of perspiration on her brow.

"What does him being mopey have to do with _me?"_ she demanded, unintentionally snapping the words.

She was irritated for some reason. It was most likely Naruto's new hairstyle, she thought. It didn't quite suit him as much as it should. Perhaps if he grew it out a bit, tried something altogether different. She had never been annoyed with it before, but at this moment it seemed to be pissing her off.

"Well, he's always happy when he's around you, no matter what," Naruto pointed out. "I thought maybe you had an argument with him."

Sakura realized that she was not partial to the color orange. In fact, she detested the color orange. It was an ugly, altogether too falsely cheerful, color. If it had been up to her, she would have banished it from the rainbow entirely. She failed to understand how Naruto, regardless of his stupidity, could stand to wear such a color. In fact, she wondered how Hinata saw past that terrible orange enough to be in love with him.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" she responded, her voice rising in unexpected anger. "How am _I_ supposed to know what's going on in that pervert's mind? You're way closer to him than me, Naruto, yet you ask as if I'm a mind reader!"

There were some other things she hated. She hated the color of Naruto's eyes. She hated the color of Kakashi's eyes. She hated the way men seemed to have a tendency to speak in riddles. She hated how stupid they could be, with the ridiculous things they did for love. She hated how little self control they had when it came to confessing their feelings. She hated how all three of the most significant men in her life seemed to only exist to test her, to twist her feelings unintentionally, to make her rethink her entire life. She was sick of them. They were all so infuriating and she simply _hated them._

"Sakura, are you okay?" Naruto asked worriedly.

The pulsing crimson faded from the edges of Sakura's vision. She realized that she was standing up. She hadn't even noticed that she had gotten to her feet. She also realized that she'd been yelling. Perhaps not at the top of her lungs, but loud enough to draw the attention of a few passerby. Her visage, pale before, had turned a bright shade of red. She hastily sank back into her seat, ashamed of her outburst. Normally she would have thought it justified, but this had been an entirely different type of outburst, a departure from her usual kind.

"I'm….I'm…."

What was she? She did not even know at this point. Her head was an absolute mess, thoughts and emotions piled carelessly in every corner. As she returned to her seat, it came to her realization that she did not hate the color orange. Nor did she dislike Naruto's eye color or his hair. She quite liked both of them, as she thought they suited the man. She pulled the bowl of ramen before her again. Its aroma no longer made her sick.

"Kakashi will be fine," she assured Naruto. "Don't worry about him."

She offered Naruto a reassuring smile. However, even though the scent of her meal no longer made her feel sick, she had not yet gotten back her appetite.

* * *

Sleep wouldn't come. The clock ticked away the minutes, then the hours, yet slumber refused to arrive. Sakura instead remained awake, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. How many times she'd done this before, how little she'd done this in recent years. It was seldom that she could not find sleep, however cleverly it hid from her. Gazing blankly at the ceiling, she told herself it was due to Sasuke. It was natural for her to worry when he was on a mission. It was natural for her to lie awake, her mind traversing all the most grim outcomes. But her mind was not in those places tonight, as much as it shamed her to realize it. Her mind was somewhere else.

" _You don't take my feelings seriously!"_

" _But I do take them seriously!"_ she wanted to reply. _"It's just...just..."_

Just _what?_ She found it easy to forget his confession? As seriously as she took his feelings, she thought he himself did not? She enjoyed teasing him? It felt so nice to be desired by more than one man that she was willing to let her guard down? Alas, none of those answers seemed plausible. It was nothing selfish, nothing cruel, and nothing ignorant that drove her actions.

 _I wanted things to remain the same,_ Sakura thought. _I wanted us to have the relationship we'd always had. I was happy when things seemed able to remain normal. Even though he confessed, nothing really changed. Was it foolish of me to think everything could stay the same, even though he told me his true feelings?_

She was indeed foolish, she decided. She had blindly trusted the world around her not to alter because she didn't want it to alter. She wanted to remain friends with Kakashi, to have lunch with him on occasion, to have long conversations and drinks with him, to bring light into his otherwise dreary life with her presence. She wanted to give him the happiness he'd been denied at several points in his life. But now he wanted more from her than companionship. He wanted things she couldn't give him, because she'd given them to someone else. Nothing could remain the same.

 _What do I do? How should I proceed? I don't want to….lose him._

The thought was unbearable. Kakashi had been with her through everything, silently cheering her on, treating her with the respect others had denied her, being something she could hold onto. It was cruel to imagine all of this being thrown away simply because he made the mistake of falling in love with her. She cared about him too much to picture him taken away from her by an accident of emotion. She would almost rather he expire completely than leave her in this way, still alive yet cut off from her by emotions he couldn't control.

 _I...I have to lose him, don't I? If we continue, it will be painful._

But which would kill her faster? The pain of losing him or the pain of feeling his agony as she continued to be around him?

Morning dawned and Sakura had still not slept. She lie in bed, still gazing at the ceiling as if it held all the answers. Her stomach growled, demanding breakfast, but she ignored it. She did not have the energy to prepare food, the energy to do anything except think. And even her thoughts were rather sluggish, coming in slow bursts. Nothing she considered, no path she mentally walked, took her anywhere she had not been before. Hours passed and Sakura did not move. She wished she could return to that Spring. _Her_ Spring. Where she'd been happy and free of worry.

Someone was knocking on the door. At first politely, requesting entry. Then with more concern as no entry was given, as no hint of impending entry came to them. Sakura did not move from the bed as the person knocked. She vaguely heard a male voice calling her name, but still she did not move. Whoever it was and whatever their reason for visiting, she did not care. She was not a human being at this moment. She was merely a Mind, merely thoughts and emotions floating outside an unfeeling shell.

"Sakura!"

The same male voice calling her name, but this time from within the house. The person, apparently worried by her lack of answer, had opened the door and crossed the threshold. Footsteps hurried to the bedroom, heavy and most certainly belonging to a man. Said man appeared in the doorway a moment later and rushed into the room.

Kakashi paused as he hastened into the bedroom. His expression was of slight panic. The first thing he noticed was that Sakura was not deceased, nor did she appear to have been attacked. He saw she was lying in bed, looking very much as if she hadn't moved. But his relief was only slight.

"Sakura, are you alright?" he demanded quickly. "I apologize for barging in, but you didn't answer and I was worried."

"Worried". The word drove itself into Sakura's chest like a blade. It was more than worry. For a man with feelings like him, it would always transcend worry. She could understand this elevated feeling of concern. And the fact she could understand it was pure torment. To be able to stand it, Kakashi must be even stronger than she always thought him to be. It was cruelty, pure cosmic cruelty, that he was here. That she was forced to look at him, rather than at the emotionless ceiling.

"Why did you come here?" she inquired blankly.

Kakashi did not answer. He strode to the bed, getting a better look at the woman who lay in it. She did not merely appear worn due to lack of sleep. She appeared to be suffering from a deeper distress than mere slumber could counter. He noted that she was far thinner than the last time he'd seen her, as if she had been neglecting to eat properly. He noted all semblance of cheeriness had left her features, as if she had lost the will to be happy. He noted she looked many years older than he knew her to be, as if she'd aged at a faster pace than was normal. Frowning, he placed his hand across her forehead to check for a fever.

 _How?_ Sakura wondered bitterly. _How can he stand to touch me, even innocently…? How can he look at me? How can he stand being in the same room with me?_

"You're a little hot," Kakashi reported. "Are you sick?"

 _He's always concerned about my well-being. He takes care of me, but he also lets me stand on my own. He stayed by my side as a friend, even though he didn't have to. Yet he's been in love with me for a long time….and only told me last year…. Just what kind of man are you, Kakashi Hatake?_

Receiving no answer, Kakashi departed the room. He turned two minutes later with a wet cloth. This he placed gently on Sakura's forehead to soothe the heat. He had somewhat lied to her when he said her forehead was "a little hot". In truth, it was significantly hotter than it was meant to be. She most definitely had a fever. And to make matters worse, she was suffering from having eaten very little as well.

 _You know I'll never return your feelings,_ Sakura's thoughts continued relentlessly. _You know I'll only hurt you in the end. So why do you stay? Why are you content to be by my side anyway? Why don't you leave so at least it won't hurt quite as much? Why don't you try to find someone else?_

Sakura wanted to scream at Kakashi. She wanted to tell him he was being the world's biggest idiot. In fact, she wanted to denounce all men as idiots when it came to love. They were immensely foolish whenever their hearts were aflame. That was the only explanation for the irrational behavior they were known for during these times, however wise they might be in any other circumstance. Every second she was near Kakashi, she was becoming more and more perplexed and less and less patient with his nonsense.

"Sasuke wanted me to give you a message," Kakashi explained calmly. "Apparently he'll be gone longer than he expected. In the meantime he wants you to remain safe and happy."

 _How can you casually pass on messages from the man you should hate above all others? How can you speak in that calm voice, as if nothing is wrong? Just what kind of love is this, Kakashi? What kind of love do you have for me that would make you act like this? Is it even love at all?_

"Do you want something to eat?" Kakashi queried. "I don't have any missions today, so I can stay for however long I need. If you're hungry, I'll make you some breakfast. Or would you like to take a bath? I could prepare one."

 _You're so concerned for me. You were angry at me for letting my guard down around you last time we talked, but now you're being kindhearted. Why...why does it bother me so much that you act like this?_

"Breakfast, please," was what came out of Sakura's mouth, her voice hoarse. "If you don't mind, Kakashi."

Kakashi nodded and left the room.

Sakura continued gazing at the ceiling, feeling the soothing coolness of the cloth across her forehead. Her head had calmed down quite a bit in the past moments. Her thoughts were no longer coming at too quickly a pace for her to keep up with them, nor was she besieged by unfortunate wonderings. She was able, for what seemed like the first time in centuries, to focus on what she had been told, the implications of said reveals, and what she was meant to do.

 _Sasuke isn't coming home as soon as I thought. That's a shame. I hope he's alright. Is he in trouble right now? I almost wish I could go find him myself, but I don't think I'm in a condition to do that. Kakashi is so nice to be taking care of me._

The final thought tugged at her mind. She was indeed glad Kakashi had chosen to care for her, as she had cared for him many times during battle. It seemed fitting that he should return the favor, albeit not on equal terms. Hopefully, he would never be forced to return the favor on equal terms. Still, him taking an active interest in her well-being gave her pause by itself. It was not unexpected, but it made her want to know even more about this love he had for her. It appeared such an odd, confusing, contradictory love.

 _The kind of love that makes you surrender._

The thought came to her suddenly. It was a miserable thought in a way, but Sakura found it a bit sweet as she pondered the meaning of it. Kakashi had surrendered, she realized. He had laid down his weapon and put himself at the mercy of destiny, rather than fight toward an uncertain conclusion. Something a shinobi should never be guilty of, but affairs of the heart were quite different even for those trained in combat. Sakura pictured Kakashi as the very image of a battered soldier, bruised and bloody with little hope in his eyes. The idea saddened her further. She did not like to think of Kakashi, the man she'd gravitated towards in times of great misery, as someone eternally suffering.

The man himself returned to the room a moment proceeding. Rather than being the image of a battered soldier, he was instead the image of a traditional housewife: A yellow apron and a tray of food. The lovely scent rising from the meal took hold of Sakura, forcing her into a sitting position as she turned eagerly to the man in the doorway. He appeared strangely natural as he stood on the threshold, as if he was a built-in component of the household. Perhaps it was merely the apron which caused this effect, but it was nevertheless a powerful image. Powerful enough for Sakura to remark, albeit internally, that Kakashi might be more suitable to the role of a husband than she had once thought him.

 _He's going to make a woman very happy some day,_ she thought.

Only to remember that the only woman he _desired_ to make happy was her, and she was of course not interested. This poisoned the smile that had been sneaking across her visage, leaving a far too melancholy frown.

"Thank you," Sakura uttered politely as she accepted the tray.

She ate with immense gusto, several days of very little food crashing down on her at once. She was vaguely aware of how unattractive she must appear, scarfing down food as if she hadn't eaten in years. In truth, she indeed felt as if years had passed without the smallest morsel. She threw all decency to the wind, caring little about Kakashi's response to her enthusiasm over what was clearly an average meal.

"Delicious!" she uttered through a mouthful of food.

With a fair amount of the repast plastered across her cheeks and mouth, she looked like a toddler. Kakashi chuckled at the scene, amused at her appearance. Sakura had the extraordinary ability of being completely adorable without ever noticing herself to be such. She was very pretty, Kakashi often reflected. Perhaps what made her even more beautiful was the fact she thought herself somewhat unattractive regardless. She could attire herself as usual, do her hair as she always did, and appear before him with no great change in physical attributes, but somehow look absolutely gorgeous in his eyes.

"Sakura, you need to stop being so pretty," he informed her teasingly. "Otherwise I might not be the only man besides Sasuke who falls for you."

Sakura swallowed her fourth mouthful, bewildered. Her cheeks reddened at the kind words, although she was a bit annoyed he seemed to be flirting with her. Sasuke had never flirted with her, she realized. He was far too…. _Sasuke_ … _._ for things of that nature. She didn't mind this, as she'd gotten used to it. The shame she felt for it was innumerable, but she had to admit that she secretly loved those rare, occasionally unintentional, moments of flirting she received from Kakashi.

"Hey, Kakashi, why are you so casual about all this?" Sakura inquired. "You claim to love me, but you say it as if it doesn't mean anything."

Kakashi shrugged.

"Should it mean something?" he asked. "I got mad at you for letting your guard down earlier, but I realize I was overreacting. My love for you is real, but our relationship can't really change because of it. I was only being selfish when I scolded you."

 _Selfish?_

Something about that word bothered Sakura. Most likely it was because the more she pondered his feelings and his outburst, the more sense she saw in it. He was entitled to be a little "selfish" when it came to his heart, as all humans were. And she did have the tendency to let her guard down around him. It originated from her youth, when she had known him as merely a sensei. She had not thought twice before appearing before him in a swimsuit or anything of that nature. There had been no need for her to be cautious at the time. But times had changed with the development of their relationship, and she simply hadn't been willing to change along with them. In fact, even knowing it, she wondered if she'd be able to alter her ways for his sake. She did quite enjoy walking close to him, lightly brushing his hand, having lunch with him on occasion, and all of those things. But if the only way these things could continue normally was if she fell in love with him, this was indeed a predicament.

"Kakashi, have you ever thought of getting married?" she asked carefully.

"Never."

"There...there are lots of women in the village who'd appreciate…."

Kakashi cut her off with a shake of his head, a bitter smile on his lips. He loathed this conversation. He'd had it before, with Naruto, and it had concluded in the same way: No, he was not planning to marry at any point in the future. No, he had no interest in any of the women who thought him a suitable candidate for a spouse and possibly a father. Frankly, he thought all of those women were incorrect, wrapped up in fantasies of the suave, flawless man he was not. He was Kakashi Hatake, a man who read perverted books, never paid for anyone's meal if he could help it, and could never imagine himself being even marginally charming. Naruto and Sakura surely knew this, but they held out naive hope that his outward personality and his inward personality were fraternal twins.

Sakura tried something else, something far harsher. She bit her lip prior to speaking, unsure she was capable of being this unkind.

"You know I'll never love you, right?" she uttered, her voice quivering a little. "I love Sasuke and he loves me. There isn't room in my heart for you. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much longer you live, I'll ne-never..."

She couldn't keep going. It was too heartless, too unbelievably heartless and unfair. He must have known all of these things when he told her his feelings. He could not be oblivious to the love for Sasuke that had followed her into adulthood. As the rational man he was, he could not have thought she would abruptly fall in love with him simply because she knew. Why had he chosen to tell her, knowing all these things to be reality? Why had he risked their friendship, risked his dignity, risked perhaps even his own happiness to tell her his feelings?

Kakashi smiled, neither wrathful nor depressed. He perched on the side of the bed and gently placed a comforting hand on her head.

"You don't need to get upset," he soothed her. "I understand how you feel and I won't try to do anything about it. Don't cry for my sake!"

Sakura realized she was indeed crying, tears running down her cheeks. She hadn't even realized her emotions had reached their peak.

"Y-You're comforting me!" she stammered, her voice heavy. "E-Even though I said such a cruel thing to you, you're comforting me. Kakashi...you're too…..too..."

Too kind. Too understanding. Too indifferent. Too accepting of destiny. Too good for a woman like her to deserve.

"Don't sit so close to me," she uttered through her tears. "You'll get sick, too!"

Kakashi waved away her concerns.

"I wouldn't mind getting sick. It's worth it to be near you, Sakura."

 _Stop it!_ Sakura thought, her crying escalating. _Stop saying nice things to me! Stop smiling at me like that! Stop...being so…._

"W-Wonderful," she choked out, blinded by her tears. "You're _wonderful,_ Kakashi."

Suddenly, as a surprise to both of them, she leaned forward and seized Kakashi in an embrace. Still crying, her vision blurry, she pulled him close and pressed her lips to his mask. With this piece of cloth between them and her eyes not working correctly, she could not be certain it was his lips she was kissing, but she did not care. She simply wanted to kiss him, in the heat of her emotions, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Resisting the urge to rip off his mask and return the kiss tenfold, Kakashi pushed the woman away. His cheeks were burning. He found himself incapable of speech for a moment, his brain desperately trying to process the extent of Sakura's actions. He imagined, although it was impossible, he could _taste_ her. He thought she tasted a bit like the Spring. A bit like her favorite type of gum.

"Sakura!" he objected. "You're…."

But the sentence died in his throat as Sakura grabbed him again, her tears continuing to flow even as she stared into his eyes. The intensity in her gaze was sufficient to discourage any further protests. Spring was alive inside of her. She _was_ the Spring. She was _that_ Spring, all those months ago, the Spring that had come to live inside of her since that day.

"Shut up," she ordered fiercely. "If you say anything else, you'll have wasted your chance."

Obediently, Kakashi declined to ask any further questions or make any more protests. He allowed himself to be taken by her, any semblance of resistance burned away by the heat of her passion. This time she took him thoroughly, his relatively virgin lips meeting hers in earnest. Many years of suppressed feelings came rushing out of him. Not merely love, but an intense lust he'd tucked away for his own good. It was all coming at once and he was powerless to stop it. His emotions took hold of his hands, his face, his very soul, and had their way with him.

 _More,_ he thought, his mind a haze of amorous crimson.

He was aware, as if seeing it from outside of his own body, of his hands moving to her nightgown. It was white, he realized vaguely. The color of innocence. He knew she had already experienced her first time with Sasuke, but the color of her nightgown gave him a distinct rush of lust. He thought of how wonderful it must be to leave a stain upon that innocence, to hear Sakura's gasps and cute little moans as the very last blossom was plucked from her tree. Sasuke was the lucky one in that regard. However, the presence of the color white made him feel as if she was losing her virginity all over again, to _him…_

 _More,_ he thought again. _I need more._

Kakashi wanted more of her taste. More of her warmth. He wanted all of her. He wanted to kiss every single inch of her body, making her shudder with pleasure at every touch of his lips against her bare skin. He thought about how Sasuke must have felt when he touched her for the first time, how glorious it must have been to feel warm skin against his hands. Kakashi's tongue traveled down Sakura's chest, past her belly button. He couldn't stop himself. It was too tempting. And the sounds she was making, those adorable little squeaks and the miniscule tremors of her supple body as she was caressed. Her skin was so responsive to him, so sensitive. His lips passed her stomach and came to rest between her legs. The little intake of breath, both of surprise and delight, was almost too much for Kakashi.

 _Sweet,_ he thought. _Why is Sakura's nectar so sweet?_

It was like honey. The most sinful honey a human being was allowed to taste.

Kakashi's face was warm, but the majority of the blood had rushed downward to another part of his body. His head was swimming with Sakura's taste, her scent, the sounds of her ecstacy. In his world, only this one pink-haired woman existed. Her body was the only warmth, his emotions were the only reality, and their shared lust was the only path. He forgot about Sasuke. He forgot about Naruto. He even forgot himself slightly, as every part of his body that could want Sakura came to life. It was all sinful in its way. So gloriously _sinful._

 _Follow me, Sakura. We're going to paradise together._

* * *

Paradise seemed a lot further away when it was all over. In fact, paradise did not seem like a place worthy of existing at the conclusion of it. Kakashi felt as if he'd thrown himself into a nest of hornets for the sake of excitement. And Sakura's reassuring, albeit tired, smile only escalated this feeling of having abandoned his morals. Regardless of this momentary lapse of judgment brought on by sympathy, the woman he loved still belonged to _Sasuke._ He could hold this event in his heart, this hour in which he'd been able to pretend she was his, that they were making love as couples do and not simply having filthy, informal relations. Only when he'd found his paradise, only when he realized he'd misjudged the distance, did he come down from the clouds.

"I'm sorry," he uttered quietly, his apology tinged with guilt.

Sakura, who lay on her side clothed in Kakashi's shirt and facing away from him, smiled. The Spring had not left her. It was throbbing inside of her, directly next to her heart. She would never let go of that Spring. It deserved better than that.

"Sorry for what, Kakashi?"

"We shouldn't do dirty things while you're sick. I got carried away. Will you forgive me, Sakura?"

Sakura turned over onto her back and gazed at the ceiling. The energy that had filled her, the lovely energy of the Spring, had gone almost immediately after its primary use. She had slipped into a peaceful slumber, her dreams decorated with half-forgotten memories. She had dreamed of all the wonderful moments she'd had with Kakashi. They were few, but most of them were pleasant. His smile guided her through her sleep, casting light upon her past. When she awakened, the sun had nearly set and Kakashi was sitting in bed beside her.

"I'm a big girl, Kakashi," she assured him. "I can take it. Don't blame yourself for getting carried away. It's not as if I didn't like it."

The last comment was enough to make Kakashi blush, albeit the color that came to his cheeks faded as a thought came to him. It was a realization he'd perhaps been holding at the edge of his mind for years. Ever since Sakura had fully blossomed, it had been there. A little fact, a miniscule wondering held at bay by circumstance. It was not something he'd ever considered worthy of questioning, until this moment. But at this moment, all the little things were of great importance.

 _When did she stop calling me "sensei"?_ he wondered.

"I stopped calling you "sensei" when I stopped thinking of you as my "sensei". Nothing else sounded right, so I dropped it altogether and started calling you "Kakashi"."

Startled, Kakashi wondered if he'd accidentally spoken aloud. But he did not get the chance to ask. Sakura rolled over in bed yet again, turning to face him on her side. She appeared in need of more sleep, he noted. However, she was certainly happy nonetheless. Her eyes, rather than mirroring his numerous regrets, illustrated a kind of affection he never thought he'd see in them.

"When did you notice?" Sakura inquired curiously.

"Just...just now."

She laughed at his answer. She felt sleep tugging at her yet again, begging her back into its embrace. Her body was quite exhausted and required as much rest as possible. But she was determined to say everything that was on her mind prior to this. She had a feeling that if she were to slip back into sleep, Kakashi would take the opportunity to leave.

"Kakashi, I've been thinking about you a lot ever since you confessed. I thought it was just the shock. Obviously I loved Sasuke, not you. Obviously I was surprised you thought of me as anymore than a friend."

Her eyes began to close, but she continued to speak, her voice steadily fading as slumber overtook her.

"I didn't understand your love. I still really don't get how your feelings work. But I want to know. Because….the crazy thing is..."

The world began to dissolve. The last thing she saw was Kakashi's face, his eyes filled with muffled hope. She felt the weight of his hand on her head, a soft touch to follow her into the dream world. She could not be sure she actually spoke the words, or if they drifted away into the nether between dreams and reality.

"… _...I think I might feel the same way."_

She had been holding her relationship with him close to her heart for years. She had cradled it as if it was her child, as if losing it would literally tear her into pieces. With Sasuke, her feelings had been childish and fueled by a desire for an ending she thought she had earned. With Kakashi, she didn't want a mere ending. She wanted a beginning. It had been plain from the moment they merged together into one being. For in that moment, they both became the Spring.


End file.
